I’ve had some pretty remarkable chats with women lately as I am preparing a new workshop for the Sexual Health Expo in Scottsdale. There’s been shivers and tears mixed with bouts of passion or rage – so I know the fire trigger is getting flipped.
I’m showing before and after images of Labiaplasty, also known as labia reduction or labia rejuvenation. While researching this I was shocked to discover the quest for the ‘Designer Vaginas’ is well documented by many women willing to post their intimate parts online. Looking through thousands of these pictures, something really interesting happened: I started looking for and then found the entire wheel of sexual anatomy types I teach about in Quodoushka workshops*.
It turns out the majority of women are in their early 20’s or younger, along with many over 50 who want to tidy things up down there. Taken a step further, “The Barbie” procedure amputates the entire labia minora, making a woman’s genital area appear entirely smooth like a plastic doll, and the outer labia seem sealed together like a clam with no messy protrusions. Cosmetic augmentation is 30 billion dollar industry, and for this vulva surgery, women are paying upwards of $6000.
Either I’ll get kicked out of the show for this presentation OR… and this is what I hope and why I am doing this: perhaps just one woman, or one young girl will pause to see that she already has a “Designer Vagina.” Designed by God herself, and that’s a fact.
As I explain this to my hairdresser (who’s been to a Quodoushka workshop) she says, ‘What I got from the Genital Anatomy Types is that I’m OK. It’s just my anatomy, and that we’re all different.’
Surrounded by blowers and chatter, about her own augmentation surgery she adds: ‘I just wanted to feel more feminine. But now I don’t FEEL.’
We both pause for a moment feeling the weight of this truth.
Before listening to my friends I was thinking of being somewhat reserved while talking about this. After all, I’m launching this talk in Scottsdale, the cosmetic capitol of the world…and local docs may be watching my graphic slides of the Genital Anatomy Types, which by the way are ALL beautiful. (Even the ones who’ve had surgery.)
I think the women I spoke to might revolt if I didn’t go for broke. Thanks ladies, there’s not a chance; not only will I go for it, my aim is to walk my talk with erotic intelligence, and do it right. With beauty.
Here’s What We Don’t Know
The inner and outer lips surrounding the vagina that many consider ‘cosmetic’ are actually filled with a fine network of nerve endings. When we’re aroused, they become engorged with blood and they spread out like wings of a great winged serpent . Our lips guard the doorway to boundless waves of pleasure. They’re designed for our pleasure. Why would we choose to reduce the sensation in one of the most sensitive, erogenous zones of our bodies?
Is it because there’s a place in our psyches that still says, on some hidden collective consciousness that pleasure is shameful, especially genital pleasure?
Yes on the outside, after a woman changes the shape of her vulva, she may join the collective opinion that says those neatly tucked away, politely folded flaps are way better than those messy, wild, all over the place flapping wings that are gorged with more pleasure than they can hold. (Perhaps such beauty is in the mouth of the beholder.) Who says those neat, hardly visible lips are attractive and that those vaginas with bulges and swirls big enough to delve into are not?
This rubs me the wrong way because until doing this research, I never knew so many women, especially young women are choosing to cut their lips off because they feel ugly. The real cost of shame is the loss of feeling. Surgery reduces feeling.
My hair dresser says, she has’30% to 40% less feeling. ‘That’s what happened for me. And You can’t get it back.’
I have the pleasure of viewing thousands of vulvas. It’s my job to help women identify their genital anatomy types, and to create a place where they can fall in love with them selves. And I have to say, honest to god, I have never seen an ugly vagina.
Here’s what I have to say to women: Dare to be who you truly are. Your pussy is beautiful just the way it is. Let’s celebrate our diversity. And let’s bring the mystery of who we truly are into our bodies, minds and bedrooms.
* Quodoushka is a spiritual sexuality workshop where we teach about men and women’s sexual anatomy types from the Sweet Medicine Sundance Path of Turtle Island.
In beauty, Amara Charles
Author of #1 Best Selling book The Sexual Practices of Quodoushka
Now available in Spanish, Czech and English available on Amazon and Barnes and Nobel
Who Designed Your Vagina
April 25 3pm Double Tree Resort