December 18, 2012

What Would An Ideal Introduction to Sexuality Look Like?

submitted by Amara Charles Back

A young girl, Audora Savitak wrote an amazing Huffington Post article about the steps a it would take to make schools better. I think some of her brilliant concepts could be applied to sexual education.

She says,  ” I am at a loss as to the benefits of putting a group of people of approximately the same age — but of varying aptitudes — into one room where they will all learn the same thing. The quicker students will sit bored while the teacher re-explains a concept they already know from their voracious reading, while the slower students will be confused and left out by the rapid pace at which everyone else seems to be progressing.” I couldn’t agree more and that’s only one of her brilliant ideas.

I was blown away not only by the intelligence of her ideas, some of which would cost nothing, but by her wisdom. My favorite is to have teachers sit (at least once a week) with students. What a radical, and yet profoundly life-changing concept. It would help students experience their teachers as real people. Listening to teens like this makes me feel like we’re gonna make it through anything.

Audora’s article made me wonder what we could come up with if we asked the same question her mom asked her, only instead of improving general education, how could we improve Sexual Education?

One step I would take is to teach children two universal laws.

First, that all things are born from feminine energy and brought to life by masculine energy.

Second, that nothing should be done to harm the children, including the children of Grandmother Earth. The water, the earth, the fire and the air. And the child within.

Then I would take children out in nature to observe how these laws function. If children were taught to honor these two laws, for example watching how a seed (feminine receptive creative energy) must be nourished by the sun, (masculine active energy) then they could begin to ask questions about how life gets started. Is this not the basis of sexual education?

What would be the first steps you would hypothetically take to make a better Introduction to sexuality?

Thoughtful comments appreciated.

My  book The Sexual Practices of Quodoushka is available on Amazon and Barnes and Nobles . Our next Touch for Two Live, Intimate Couple’s Night Dec. 31st in Phoenix, Arizona.

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FROM Terry
It is an interesting article with many ideas. I would have benefited from many of them. I would however take a different view on some of the dietary ideas as reserach tells us that we do not get fat by eating fat. We need healthy fat for cell growth. Raw milk would be 100 times better than fat free milk which provides little or no benefit.

Hi Terry, thanks for your comment. Yeah, wouldn’t it be great to totally upgrade kids diets? We all know they’d have better grades and feel much better all around! Did you see all the comments? Half of them were around food. People have a lot of passion about things like chocolate milk!

But I think our preferences miss the real point of the conversation. Imposing viewpoints from ‘on high’ doesn’t work. Like abstinence. It may be a great idea (if you happen to agree with ‘just say no’). Teens see through all this crap however and do things their own way. The interesting thing is teens sex and teen pregnancy is way down. Teens are CHOOSING to wait to have sex, not because of policy, but because it makes sense to them. I see this trend as a good example that freedom to choose eventually works out pretty well.

That’s one reason I think Audora is brilliant- she suggests small steps that aren’t too far from what’s already there. That gets people talking and caring. She understands kids AND the system pretty well. She even has a huge twitter following. There’s much to change in the educational system it’s hard to know where to start. At least we are asking questions. And it’s going viral!

Amrita Wise says

I would teach that our own sexual energy is healthy and healing – it is not something we “have” or “do” – it is who we are…

Amrita Wise says

continued…and therefore it is not something we just suddenly come upon as an adolescent or a teenager – sexuality is how we got here and is the creative life force that keeps us here and connected to life.

I have long held this perspective – that it is foolish to teach by chronological age instead of by individual aptitude. To marry the concept with sexual education is groundbreaking. My sex ed class was laughable, and “the talk” I received from my father (because my mother was incapable) was excruciating. I got the core of my sex education from authors like Judy Blume. Imagine my father’s suprise when, at age 2, my niece explained one night at the dinner table where babies come from. Fortunately, my sister learned a lesson from our impoverished sexual education and promised always to answer my niece’s questions, no matter how what the subject. Let’s remove the shame and address the questions, age-appropriately and as asked.

amara says

Right on Laura! I’d love to hear what the excruciating ‘talk’ from your Dad was like. I honestly cannot remember my father ever mentioning a single word to me on the subject of sex. It was all such a mystery, but fascinating nonetheless. Isn’t it amazing we all manage somehow? But it’s so sad that so many of us have to spend years unraveling all the spoken and unspoken messages we get around sex. And we pick up shame about our bodies, and we learn to hide things, and we take these ingrained habits into our love lives. So the modeling we get from our parents really does make a deep impression. But I believe we can transcend these messages, and that we can learn to love our bodies, and we can allow ourselves to express our desires. I also really believe that even if our parents couldn’t teach us very well, they love it when we feel blissful union. So here’s to forging a new, more loving, and more joyful path where it;s okay to feel pleasure. Many blessings on your new adventures :-). Big hugs, Amara

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