November 23, 2015

Waiting To Exhale

submitted by Amara Charles Back

I was told that in order to be a real woman

I had to be so many impossible

and sometimes contradictory things…

Even the brilliant (so-called)

“new age”

abandoned my womanhood

in a barrage of criteria

about what it means to be a true woman,

and demands of men about how to be with us,

with aware, yet dissatisfied women…

And all the while

all I really wanted

was to exhale…

I was waiting to exhale…

 

I was told to pray for him to come,

Visualise him,

Create my reality with him in it…

This paragon of ultimate manhood

that is expected to be more divine than God

and surpass perfection itself,

to fulfill impossibly long lists

of feminine wishes and demands

so we could know we had “made it”,

know we were no longer usurped

downtrodden

reviled…

 

And all the while

I knew I didn’t have to search for him,

I knew he would find me,

and I would know myself in him

because

lying on his chest,

surrendered in his arms,

I would finally

exhale…

Written by a friend of mine, Kalpi

 

 

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