April 8, 2015

The Perfect Pussy? A Man’s Response to a Girl Thinking About Labiaplasticy: Perfect.

submitted by Amara Charles Back

My two cents as a man: it’s easy for us to get together in groups and make fun of women who aren’t entirely perfect, or who at least don’t fit the vision of “perfection” we get from models and porn. It’s not our greatest asset. In fact it’s things like that that make me feel like I belong to the weaker sex. We’re so bent on bringing other people down because we’re all really fragile and have these delicate egos and we make ourselves feel strong by banding together to make fun of people.

Vaginal attractiveness is a tough subject because no one’s really talking about it objectively, or at least not with me around. Porn is teaching you that there are pretty and ugly vaginas, and even though I have very little experience being a teenage girl, my understanding (garnered largely from tv and movies, I’ll admit) is that girls default to thinking their vagina is ugly. Like as a curious teenager when you finally give it a good long look, it’s probably not what you were expecting. Forgive me if that’s an ignorant sentiment, but like I said, the conversation isn’t really at the forefront of gender equality so I have very little to go on.

But men find them beautiful. Like really actually beautiful. Not beautiful-for-a-few-flaps-of-skin-beautiful, but legitimately attractive. The things you think are ugly are the reasons we’re drawn to them. All those guys who bash a woman for having “meat curtains” would sell their limbs to come into contact with that same “ugly” vagina.

Ask a group of men in a room together what they find attractive in a woman and they’ll all say “big tits, big ass, skinny waist and legs, blonde hair”, but get them one on one and you’ll find guys who like small breasts and small asses and thick legs and everything else. The same way not every girl wants a huge hard body builder with a massive package.

My point is: the worst mistake you could make is basing a life decision on the mob mentality of men. When you’re ready to give your virginity to someone, I promise you they’ll be feeling like the king of the world, and more than likely too focused on their own bodily flaws to even notice your inner labia aren’t Photoshop Perfect.

Amara’s Response:

my 20 cents: I’ve worked with thousands of men and women educating them about the variety of our genital anatomy. I’ve heard similar comments from countless menover the last 25 years- that they’re quite happy to be near a woman’s pussy. And by the time they get there they’re way more into giving her pleasure than what she looks like. Personally, I want the kind of man who looks at my most private parts with awe and wonder. But that means I have to look at myself this way. Like I’ve said I’ve looked at thousands of pussy’s, and honest to god, every single one is beautiful.

I also know the profound shame many women feel, and I know the desire to look beautiful is a powerful urge to feel good. This is what one woman said that I will never forget: ‘I wanted to have surgery to feel more feminine, to be more beautiful. But now I don’t FEEL.’

For anyone considering surgery, I’d say this: Any surgery reduces sensation. Consider this question: do you want to reduce or increase your pleasure over a lifetime? This same woman I quoted above, who many years later regretted her choice also said this: ‘You can’t get it back’.

When I was in my 20’s my Mom did everything she could think of to have me get a nose job. Would I have been prettier? Would I have attracted more men? Maybe. Yes, I sacrificed the glances in the mirror of feeling prettier. Now that I’m in my 50’s what I have is just ‘me’. And Furthermore I realize that the shape of my nose (or any other body part ) is not me at all. There’s a pleasure treasure waiting for anyone who can love themselves deeper than flesh. There’s great deal of pleasure and states of bliss that come from our genitals. Think carefully before you reduce this pleasure. Some may say cutting the lips does not reduce pleasure. But many women say it does.

 

 

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