People who are well nourished and greatly inspired by their relationships live at the outer limits of intimacy. They not only dream of but deeply crave what is beyond easy grasp. They know deep fulfillment comes from extending and stretching the borders of what is already known. If you want the most from your relations you must realize it lives outside your comfort zones.
Deep love exists on the fringes of plain view. It thrives beyond what is already known and being done. A great relationship, and real intimacy requires a new approach. Anytime you don’t know what to do differently, your answer is to hunt for another approach.
You must search for the one thing that will open your lover. You must keep seeking the one thing that will melt him. You must keep looking until you find the one thing that causes her to look at you in a new way.
The first thing to do is risk. Dare being ridiculous. Over the top. Completely awkward.
I am not only talking about lovers. I’m talking about doing whatever it takes to get closer to family and to anyone you feel distant, far away, angry or hurt with.
I just flew to Manila with my sister while I was sick. It was an impossible task. For years my sister accused me of being too busy, too far away and too selfish. She happened to be right. I also felt a pain in my heart every time I thought about my brother, who I had not seen for five years. So when she said ‘I’m going to the Philippines next week to see our brother’, I said, ‘I’m coming with you.’
Nothing made sense except doing the right thing, at the right time. Now. (which is all we’ve got.)
We know the people we’d like to get closer to, but for some reason we don’t. Because they won’t, or they can’t. We stay away because we think there’s something we can’t get over or or whatever. It’s always false.
Love is bigger than everything. Love makes anything possible.
So my call is to keep risking. Dare your self to say ‘yes’ to something impossible. Get close at all costs, because this is the most precious thing we have.
The rewards and the outcome must also remain in the outer limits, because very little makes logical sense here. Only doing the right thing matters. And if you ask, ‘what is the right thing to do?’ and get the answer, ‘I really do not know.’ That’s fine, but it’s not true.
We only need to listen. We always know the right thing to do.
The trick is to risk doing it.
In beauty, Amara Charles
Sacred Intimacy Retreats Worldwide.