Just for fun, I looked up ‘queen’ to see whether the common definition came anywhere close to my take on the word. I was especially curious to see if anything resembling what I might consider queenly made it into the dictionary.
Of course, Webster fails to mention the sensuous erotic brilliance I see emanating from a true queen. It merely says; ‘a woman regarded as excellent or outstanding.’
Yet, there was a chess definition I found intriguing about a Queen being ‘able to move through any number of unobstructed squares in any direction.’ This begins to hint at the expansive freedom a woman feels when she clears away obstructions in her path so she can move in any direction she chooses. Sounds more like it.
But here I wish to say something about the genius that shines through what I call an ordinary queen that is when a woman goes inside and finds her voice and she begins to feel alive in her body, and she doesn’t lose her mind in the incessant tangle of nothing-quite-goes-the-way-she-expects-it-to.
Even in the midst of her daily routines, an ordinary queen somehow manages to pull of feeling beautiful no matter what.
(Now men, if you’re still reading, lest you feel this note is just for us girls, can you imagine being invited by a glowing, deeply happy woman who has it in mind to scoop into her heart to serve you up a bowl of love that’s been swelling in her body and that yearns to be tasted? That’s what you’ll get when you know how to satisfy a woman’s yearnings. The idea is to inspire her inner queen to come out to play.)
A woman recently sent me a text to tell me how the night went with her guy after our Shakti Queen Retreat. It’s a perfect example of the often unseen heroic deeds of a true queen and it shows how doing our ordinary business rarely feels queenly at all.
“After the retreat, when I called him up, I got the ‘troll voice,” she said, “Here I was, beaming from our weekend, proud of everything I did, and I get this meek little voice. It wasn’t the first time he wasn’t happy for me.”
Reminding her of everything we experienced at the retreat, I told her to:
“Go to him as a woman. Don’t make anything up about the tone of his voice, and don’t bring up the past.”
The next day she wrote: “It was interesting….
“We didn’t make love right away, and even though he didn’t say it, I felt like he wanted to. I was tired. But I didn’t give up or push him away either. Instead of being pulled into whatever was going on for him, I just kept saying ‘I love you’ over and over. He melted. I think he just needed reassurance, and then my own resistance melted too… maybe he was afraid of my shinning and didn’t know if I wanted him.”
Could any bout of insecurity, resistance or fear be quenched with relentless gestures of tenderness, understanding, and a soft voice of love? I haven’t seen anything work better! With wisdom like this, a woman can use the truth resting in her heart to see beyond any number of obstructed squares until she is able to move freely in any direction she chooses.
This is how a woman accumulates a certain amount of regal, majestic inner Shakti power, and ladies, this is precisely what turns us into irresistible queens. And can happen in the quiet, unseen moments of our everyday lives.