Jane Zawski wrote:
I looked at your video with great interest. I have below A-size breasts and what I have sag and have stretch marks on them. The pink areolas and nipples are ok, but, really, I don’t think my breasts are beautiful. I’m sure there are many of us mothers out there with such breasts. I’ve looked, but can’t find pictures of other breasts like mine and women who love these little, scarred protrusions. I am just writing quickly because I have just a moment, and would love any thoughts and you to point me in the right direction (same for my saggy upper and lower stomach, below which muscles are actually visible from my yoga practice, but the sag and stretched, marked skin won’t ever go away, I guess).
You have been on my mind all day. Perhaps I made this video for you. I know many women do not love their bodies or their breasts. This is why I made the video, I made it for women like you and me, who must learn to love our bodies.
When I was a young girl. I fell in love with my camp counselor and I used to love letting my eyes linger and stare at his skin when he wasn’t looking. I loved every pore of his face, and I was fascinated by the deep grooves, crevices, lines and marks that sprawled across his cheeks, and nose. I used to study and remember every indentation, and I remember ( this was 40 years ago!) I absolutely adored the marks on his face as if they were the signatures or calligraphy of a fine painting.
Then, a few years later I saw him again. The glow of summer camp had faded long ago. I zoomed into his face as I did as a girl, but now as a young woman, my brain registered wrinkles, and deep pockmarks! The very things I loved stroking my eyes over he must have hated or thought odd. Such are the eyes of an innocent girl.
This is exactly why I made the Beautiful Breast video, because it is the way we use our eyes that matters; especially the way we see ourselves. We can look at our bodies, or others with love and we will see beauty. Or we can look with muddy eyes, cruel eyes, and eyes full of judgement. Then what we see becomes ugly.
Your Breasts Are Beautiful
A favorite poem by Hafiz goes something like this
What is it you would change?
Why would you change these things?
For if you change
God might might not recognize you.
I know few of us have breasts like the ones in these pictures. You see, it’s not really important to change the lines or shape of things, for that is not where beauty is.
Love is the only thing that can change the shape of things, for love is a feeling. It’s a vibration that creates the shape of what we see.
So you must not approach your body or your self with the idea that you must change anything, because nothing is wrong.
Now, this being said, I know that seeing ourselves with muddy eyes is not an easy thing to let go of. I know we want to feel and be seen as beautiful. But trust me, this must first come from inside you. You must find different eyes to see yourself.
Beauty is a vibration of love. It’s first a feeling of self acceptance, saying to your self, ‘okay, I am what I am.’
When you do this, if you can you look at your self with kinder eyes for a just a moment something curious cam happen. Try to see, try to look at your breasts before your mind has a chance to sink a dark arrow into what you see. You can suspend those dark arrows of judgement against yourself by having a little bit of awareness.
You need to pause first and look at what you see without thinking. You will notice your self looking at your breasts. This is the secret to turning your eyes inwards, to turning the darkness of not liking yourself into a moment of directly seeing what is really so. These tiny pauses of awareness turn into light arrows of self acceptance. As you do this again and again your inner eyes meet your outer eyes, and they become kinder and kinder until your gaze for yourself turns into a warm fire of self love.
I cannot promise you will get rid of every line and groove, but I can say if you love yourself again and again your eyes will change, and your body will feel different.
This is the secret of beauty, because if you do this for long enough, the shape of your body will shimmer with beauty. Beauty is a vibration that when you feel it, it can be seen by others. This is really why I created the Yin Way video, so you could create this vibration of love inside you.
I know many women do not feel their breasts are beautiful. I do not have the breasts of a model, but I love them. I had to be told many times by my lover that my breasts are beautiful. I couldn’t hear those words, especially about my breasts, for a long time. But gradually, I began to feel this love, curling inside me like a wisp of smoke. I knew I had to do this often, to practice loving myself, caressing myself with this nourishing love until I could feel love sinking into my skin and my mind. Maybe some are born with this kind of love or beauty, and it’s easier for them to feel. But maybe some of us have to grow and tend to our bodies like a garden in need of water and sun. This is why I also believe that breasts need to be nibbled and licked, and stroked until we can get used to this vibration and know that it is good.
You are beautiful Jane.
p.s. with your permission, I’d like to post this so others can begin to feel this vibration of love inside themselves.
Thank you for your reply. I’m thinking a lot about what you’ve written and I appreciate it.
Yes, please share with others whatever you wish. What you wrote is beautiful.
Thanks again –
for beautiful breasts that shimmer with love from the inside out.
I just watched Brene Brown’s Ted’s lecture on Vulnerability, Connection, Shame and Self Worth. First of all, she’s a lovely, humble speaker who has done some great research on what makes people shy away from intimate connection. Didn’t know you could get PHD’s on that kind of research… Her bottom line take on what makes people feel disconnected and alone? Feeling Unworthy.
After teaching spiritual sexuality workshops for over twenty years, I couldn’t agree more. And here’s what else I think.