The way to strengthen your Inner Shakti is to listen to your inner teacher and surround yourself with good people. But what happens when you can’t hear a wise voice inside and the people around you are anything but kind?
A brilliant, successful woman I worked with for years made it through a completely unexpected dire and threating situation involving her husband – you know the kind of story I’m talking about – where a woman needs to choose between the comforts of home, and knowing when times up, and it’s time to go.
That’s when you need to have a full reserve of your Shakti forces on hand. First, you need the inner power to speak up and take care of business, and then, when all the doubts come flooding in, you need friends and mentors to help you hold your ground. Without inner power and supportive allies, you’re lost.
When our inner forces are weak we crave independence and we feel like we have to fight for our space.
Yet, like a great martial artist, a woman who knows how and when to use her fierceness doesn’t fight for space. She commands it by how she walks in a room.
In my view, the kind of strength a woman needs to overcome the toughest challenges is not something we’re born with – we have to develop it.
I created an alliance with this woman over a few years helping her get in touch with the right things to do for herself so that when the time came, she could take decisive action when she needed to.
When Trouble Hits
One of the biggest mistakes we make as women is to automatically withdraw away from power, and yet, sometimes, the wisest thing to do is to stay and wait.
The secret to being a Shakti Queen is what you do while waiting. A spiritual warrior prepares herself and goes to war to gain command over the enemy within.
As a woman scores victories over the emotional enemies of her internal doubt, fear, and loneliness, she begins to develop a kind of invincible shine.
Now, of course, everyone wants to be surrounded by great people, but most of us have a mixed bag of those who encourage and discourage us, and the trick is to avoid one and hang around the other as much as possible.
This is one of the reasons why I think it’s intelligent to find places where you can be seen for who you are and where you make it your business to nourish relationships with people who can stand by you in times of trouble.
Whenever you have a colossal victory or devastating defeat, whenever you are elated or deflated, a new edge appears, so it’s time to take great care.
Here, I’m talking about times when you don’t have months or years to calculate or brood – the kind of events when something needs to change now.
If you ask yourself the question; Why wait? and you can’t come up with a good answer, then it’s time to take decisive action.
How to Know If You’re Right?
At every edge, we’re going to have inner voices warning us to wait and those that say act now. Either choice takes courage. But how do we know we are making the right move?
When you let go of having to wait or having to act, and you let go of your resistances, then ask yourself what is the right thing to do now?
While we might not be sure at the time, we know afterward by the way we feel. The reward for doing what’s right is peace of mind. But whenever we go against what we know deep down, our conscience will eventually come back to remind us.
Creating A Team of Allies
It’s not like strong supportive allies magically appear the instant we need them; they appear by our side because of what we’ve done before. In other words, the acts of friendship and kindness we’ve done when we didn’t have to, that’s what causes great alliances to show up when we need them most.
I’d like to say you can nourish your inner Shakti all by your lonesome, but in reality, it takes a tribe to thrive. Even Jesus needed at least 12 people at the last supper. And that’s a good number to strive for. 12 supportive allies that can come and go to celebrate great accomplishments and be there to shake you up when you’re going blind to dangers.
Daily Routines of a Shakti Queen
I want to tell you the story of another type of Shakti Queen. This is a lady who had a high paying swanky job. Part of that job meant playing with the boys club, meaning, to keep her spot on the ladder she had to beat them at pool after work, and, in her case, she could outdrink them as well.
Seeing the peak of turning 50 rising on the horizon, and having saved heaps of cash, she tired of the vapid race to nowhere and left corporate to find more meaning and purpose to her life. So she took a year off and never looked back, that is until her money started getting thin and foreclosure loomed too close for comfort. She started to panic when no good jobs or men landed on her doorstep. Well, a few landed, but nothing stayed.
In times like these, having few good practices to sustain your Shakti can change your life.
Yes, having friends and allies are surely necessary, but ultimately, it’s what you actually do every day that either boosts your strength or saps it.
When our inner Shakti is weak, the chances of finding the will to do anything good for our selves on a daily basis low. But trust me, when times get really rocky, having a practice that calms your nerves, and slows down the voices in your head is what you’ll need to get through to the other side of the crisis.
There’s a lot to say about the value of having productive daily routines and it’s a big part of why we present certain feminine practices in a Woman’s Way to Lead.
In this case, when this woman’s life seemed to be careening to a full-fledged collapse, it wasn’t the time to suggest sitting in silence for like an hour a day – there was no way that was going to work. The bank was closing in and she called in tears not wanting to crawl back to her Mom’s house a total failure.
I told her the only thing that’s collapsing here is your ego, and although it was scary, she decided it was time to exit, face what was happening, and to start over. To get through this, she needed something basic, something she could do anywhere in less than a minute without anyone even noticing that she was doing a ‘practice’.
The purpose of just about any practice on one level is to interrupt the minds incessant habit of being all over the place and to suspend the voices that are trying to convince you that you’re thinking is real. It’s an internal battle that will steal your strength, and the best weapon is a practice that brings your mind home.
Bringing the Mind Home
Now, don’t be fooled by the simplicity of this practice. The best practices are so simple you can grab them at a moment’s notice. The trick is to repeat them often so they become automatic.
Our trouble is that our bad habits, like putting ourselves down are automatic, while the empowering ones we need are far less familiar.
So here’s what I suggested for the lady of this story. She still had a smartwatch from her glory days, so I told her to create an alarm three times a day.
When she heard the alarm she was to pause wherever she was, and I told her to do this:
Keep your eyes open.
Open your mouth slightly, as if relaxing with a silent ‘ah….’
Rest your hands comfortably by your side.
Take a few steps for as long as you can while doing just this.
While I was not surprised, I was pleased to get a message from her a week later. She sent me a picture of her packed apartment. But the note said, I’m not going back to my mother. I just got a huge dream job of a lifetime, and I’m taking it.
Now, the trick is, will she remember to calm down, pause and relax when she’s flying high?
Yes, I think she will and I send my prayers darling.
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p.s. You don’t have to hunt for sensuous experiences. When you share generously and are grateful for what you already have, trust me, they will find you.
Quehestemehah, you dance in my heart