Doesn’t it feel like that fling from the past, or the cute person you’ve been lusting after at work for months only wants to text you when you’re in a relationship? It’s almost as if others sense you now have someone who can’t keep their hands off you, and THEY want a piece too! Well, blame the pheromones because this is what’s going on.
I recently read something fascinating about the role smell plays in our love lives.
Naomi Wolf in her book, Vagina reports that “psychologist Denise Chen conducted an experiment with 20 heterosexual men by wiring them with electrodes to measure their sweat while they simultaneously worked out and watched erotic movies. Then 19 women smelled both pads that had men’s ‘aroused’ and ‘unaroused’ sweat on them, while they also had brain scans measuring their reactions. The ‘sexual sweat’ activated their right frontal cortexes – the part of the brain that recognizes emotions – but the ‘unaroused sweat’ did nothing for them.”
Imagine a world where we can accept being appreciated as beautiful beings, for our sexual grace and total presence with another human being. Dare to exhibit your beauty and play with spiritual flirting to command an encounter with anyone you’d like.
“Quehestemehah” You Dance in My Heart
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Trusted Sex and Intimacy Advisor to Thousands
Just the other day I spoke with a woman who had an awful first date with a man she met on a dating site. She grumbled about several deal breakers including he was stuck in the past and was oblivious to anything she had to say. She sounded lonely, defeated and ready to quit the whole online dating thing. So I said, listen, ‘you’re a fantastic woman, you’re bright successful and attractive, so how would you like to take those skills of yours and use them the next time you date? Of course she said yes, and here’s what I told her to do.
Yes, randomly BEFORE you go on any dates. The first assignment was to dress lovely and wander about smiling generously everywhere she went seeking only to have brief, pleasant conversations with anyone she met. I recommended she practice flirting like this in safe public places she might visit during her daily routines. “Make it a mission’ I said, ‘Your only agenda is to enjoy being out and about. You should have no attachment whatsoever and no goal. You’re just getting warmed up.
Talk About Now
You said one of the things that turned you off was the way this man went on and on about his past. What could be more dull? So, in your conversations, avoid talking about the past at all, especially your baggage. Hunt for things that are going on in your life right now and speak enthusiastically about what you are doing. If he starts to pull back into his past, smile and redirect the conversation.
Years ago a woman came on a retreat who I have known for many years. She had a small business, and she always struggled and was on the verge of bankruptcy. It was a small miracle that her boyfriend gave her the money to go to the retreat as she had wanted to go for years but didn’t have the funds.
One of her primary intentions on the retreat was to become prosperous and abundant. She was in her 40s and had never experienced that before. At one of the sacred sites, she got an epiphany. When it came to making decisions, she always struggled with “making the right decision.” When confronted with a decision that had to be made, she was clouded, unfocused and it even brought up anxiety because she knew how important it was to “make the right decision.”
These sacred sites are shamanic and they will sometimes create situations that show us what is happening in our lives. So she was in a sacred site where the trails were really obvious, and then suddenly they became nonexistent, and she was lost. She ended up in
Entering the shamanic realms is a stepping into the timeless harmony of infinity where we can listen and feel our oneness with Creation. When we stop the world we know another world appears. If you have ever become quiet enough to have a direct communion with a tree, a rock or a stream of water, you know that there is another language that arises when we stop the world we know. We can feel the subtle vibrations of nature, where a tree has quite a different ‘voice’ than the wind. This is the place where magical transformation happens, but not for the reasons we think.