December 26, 2017

Imagine a World Without Flirting

A perspective related to #MeToo | submitted by Amara Charles Back

As the #MeToo movement inspires more and more people to share their stories of sexual harassment and assault, it’s hard to refresh our browsers fast enough to see the latest revelations on sexual violations. But what happens to the natural and healthy aspects of flirting, and is it still possible in today’s climate to flirt with safety and respect?

I think many of us are sitting back and reevaluating experiences in our past. How can you not? We’ve probably all been there to some degree or another, feeling uncomfortable…or worse. Because of this, I think it is imperative that men and women have honest and open conversations about consent and boundaries regarding what is and what is not ok when it comes to flirting.

I think in order for things to change, the tidal wave of voices that were once too afraid to speak out need to keep splashing across headlines. However, I also know, if the pendulum goes too far, and the #MeToo movement discourages men and women from expressing natural attractions, there may also be unintended consequences. Women could be excluded from social business meetings, and we could become afraid to dress nicely or to flirt.

Intention and attitude determine everything!

No matter how the social landscape changes, flirtatious games of courtship will continue. Feminine yin and masculine yang energies constantly rise and fall – men will gain energy by looking at things they enjoy and women will gain energy by allowing themselves to be seen.

Is it wrong for women to like being seen as physically attractive or for men to enjoy what they see?

Watch any man watch women. They know they are not supposed to openly enjoy looking at women, and it’s also one of the reasons they like it. Not all men are gropers and for those who like to ‘hunt,’ you will notice they are constantly seeking visual stimulations throughout the day. Taking quick glimpses is one of their favorite pass times.

It is important to understand several things about men, and about yourself. As you probably have noticed, men are highly attracted by what they see. They love taking quick peeks because they are often shunned, scolded, or threatened if they let it be known how much they like looking at breasts or thighs. In this regard, men have had to get good at taking fast glances without getting caught.

A woman does not always need to be yin and receptive, but at the right times, and in the right ways, it is nourishing for her to relax and become open to being seen. But by entirely shunning the pleasure of being seen, and considering this merely a man’s game, something in our feminine yin essence gets lost and we sacrifice our natural power. Thus, in its essence, flirting can become a spiritually sexy adventure when we choose the right places and times to let our beauty shine. When we share our yin essence selectively it is a gift – an energy exchange with no expectation of anything more in return.

Again, being looked at in sleazy ways is uncomfortable, and we know when someone leers at us in greedy ways it does not feel good or spiritual in any way. I am talking about using your erotic intelligence to choose certain times to deliberately turn on your feminine, receptive erotic prowess. And one of the best ways to practice this is by flirting with this intent. It’s empowering to make ‘being beautiful safe,’ and in this way, saying ‘yes’ to flirting can be just as powerful as saying ‘no.’

In beauty,

Amara Charles

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