Transform complaints on the spot for better sex
If some complaint is keeping you from feeling sexy, I’ve got some news from my own experience: there is no reasonable way out. I’ve met with way too many women and men who, although they have no desire to feel irritated by each other, do.
On a good day old grievances subside, but mostly they’re like a familiar stew on a stove waiting for the slightest thing to turn the burner on. Whether they get blurted out or stay put, the grudges we carry rarely disappear entirely. Wouldn’t it be nice if you woke up one day and they were gone, like poof!
There’s only one way chronic complaints can disappear, and you know what I am going to say: you have to drop them. No complaint, no matter how correct, justified, tragic, right, and no matter how much you hurt will ever lead to the feeling of wanting to peel off your clothes, letting them slide to the floor while you are standing there growing plump with wanting. Complaining before, during and certainly after sex doesn’t work.
Cant quite get there? Not to worry. Try this. Next time you feel a grudge swelling inside, threating to steal another sweet sexy moment, say to your self, ‘So?’. And if an intimate friend says something that starts to make your skin tighten into a knot, try saying, ‘and so?”
I know this may sound impossibly simple to work. I promise you however, if you wish to cool down your own anger, or diffuse someone elses’ try saying “And so?”the minute you feel critical. Then see what happens. Try turning off the repeat button in your head that either knee jerks into repeating your own grudge, or theirs. Press the stop button instead.
It’s positively interesting what happens. Plus, laying down your complaints, no matter what they are leads way more often to tender sex and intimacy.
In beauty, Amara
Sex and Intimacy expert Amara Charles’ new book The Sexual Practices of Quodoushka is available for pre-order on Amazon. To find out about sexuality workshops for singles and couples please go to our workshop page.
Our Next Touch for Two Couple’s Night is in Phoenix March 25. email us to inquire.