April 29, 2014

Five Ways To Spot An Alpha Male

submitted by Amara Charles Back

A beta male knows nothing higher than himself; but an alpha male instantly recognizes genius. 

I’ve had more comments from Five Things Women do in the Presence of an Alpha Male than any article I’ve written so far. Maybe having ‘What is an Alpha man?‘ on my mind turned me into some kind of magnet for them because for the last few weeks I’ve been quite dazzled by the alpha men who keep popping up around me.  

Yesterday, at my favorite coffee shop a man who always wants to know what I’m writing asked, ‘What do you think is Alpha?’… I suppose he has to show you, he sort of has to prove he’s better than other guys.’   

‘Yes. Maybe it’s true.’ I said, but as I explained that it’s all in the way he proves himself, he interrupted me with his real question: ‘Am I an Alpha man?’


‘You know,’ I said, ‘one of my favorite comments came from a guy who wrote: I didn’t think I was an alpha male, but after reading what you wrote, I think maybe I am.


Ok, the dictionary does say ‘alpha male’ means the ‘most dominant, powerful, or assertive man in a particular group’ and the word may conjure up notions of animal hierarchy or a heroic movie star who slays the dragon and gets the girl. So yes, he’s right, alpha men aren’t afraid to excel, they like to shine and they like mastering things.

But the word ‘alpha’ also means ‘beginning’ or ‘first’.

Alpha men have bold, risky, original ideas. They like starting things, and they’re passionate about doing what matters because they need to make a difference. These are the qualities women find hard to resist. That is, if, and this is a big if: If his ideas have heart. Predator alphas seek significance through aggression, benevolent alphas males strive to give what matters.

These men may be perfect seekers, but they’re not perfect. They become unhinged when they can’t quench their thrust for sex, success or influence. If peace eludes them, despite what they have accomplished, they’ll  destroy or be destroyed by what they’ve done. If a man has the strength to stay, eventually, what matters most is the company he keeps and how he’s regarded by those who know him best.

When a man’s heart is connected to the feminine, to nature, he has ideas that matter. These men realize the only way, is the way in. Into their hearts, into the vast, wild, complexities of the feminine; even if it means getting swallowed up by it all, until he finds a way to stay in the grittiness of life with all it’s complications, feelings, defeats and failures, nothing matters.

No woman can provide what matters for a man until he is willing to stay. What we can do is become so connected to life our selves, so radiant and relaxed, he feels the warmth of our presence, and he will not be able to keep us from floating into his mind from time to time. This is what inspires alpha men to find their way.

Five Ways To Spot (and Respond) To An Alpha Male

Look for someone who expresses bold ideas. If he shows his originality, creativity or intelligence, observe and listen with passion.  Then show him how his ideas make you feel.

Avoid Seeking the perfect guy. Notice good men. Also notice foolish, selfish or ignorant behavor. But whenever a man is on target, passionately tune into him with your body and your heart.

Inside all he says, listen for what matters to him. Most importantly, look past what he says or doesn’t say and watch for what he actually does.

‘Bad Boys’ may be alpha men, but are they the kind you want to hang around with your kids? Even if your not planning to have kids, ask your self, would he be around to love, care and protect you and the things you create together?

Carefully watch for the fantasy bubble you might be blowing up to make a man more than he is. Do not overlook transgressions. Notice the way he treats you and others. There’s a time and place for forgiveness, but not pretense.Whatever you ignore will take root to haunt you later.

Keep in mind you cannot make someone stay, commit, or be honest. But you can keep doing these things your self to become what you’d like to attract.

Are You An Alpha Male? What do you think about all this?

How does being In The Presence of An Alpha Male make you feel?

I appreciate thoughtful comments!

In beauty Amara Charles  

p.s. If You’d Like More on The Five Things Women Do In The Presence of An Alpha Male comment below to let me know.  PART THREE TO BE CONTINUED : Five Types of Alpha Men

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jane says

I am indeed in the presence and in the most expansive relationship I’ve ever experienced and that being with an alpha male. Its been only three months now but I cried out to the Universe and called him in and I am ASTOUNDED at what God delivered to me! And even more amazing is that it was only AFTER I met him that I found your website and read the alpha male article which I resonated with me 100%. I also was happy to read that do indeed respond to this man exactly as needed to promote our love in ways that speak to his alpha directly and woo him into my heart on a daily basis. He is truly a heart centered alpha male…THE best kind there is. And I, a goddess of heart and freedom am exactly what he needs. Moreover because he is alpha it has brought out in me feelings and mature behaviors that I have never practiced in the past during my less conscious days. So here are the things that I NOW do that totally ROCK his heart and world:
1. From day one I committed to him and to me to have no typical societal expectations of what our “relationship” is or may become. No labels. No projecting into the future. Purely taking it day by day, in the moment. Savoring every moment spent together knowing that everything is finite in this physical realm.
2. I committed to being one hundred percent authentic with him about who I am and what I feel and think. It has been challenging for me indeed but has brought about great maturity for myself and has sent fear running as I no longer contort myself to be who I think he needs or want. I am just myself ALL the time and he can take it or leave it. He always takes it!
3. I give him tons of space to be himself and stand with confidence knowing he will use that space and then return to me with even greater desire and respect.
4. I ALWAYS verbally let him know the beauty, strength, sweetness, kindness, love, intelligence and creativeness I see in him, along with all his other positive qualities…I tell him what I “see” , what I recognize even at the depths of his heart. He is blown away by my wisdom and ability to tap into him and then to reveal what I see to him.
5. I share my struggles and vulnerbilities with him so as to be a mirror that he may or may not see himself in, but never directly point out his shortcomings from a stance of judgement. He gracefully sees himself and together we work on issues within us that need help and maturity.
6. I stopped wondering what he is thinking of me. I focus on what I think him. Stopping that weird energetic thought pattern draws him in like a magnet.
7. I listen to him and care about every word that comes from his mouth and heart. I hold his heart with utmost gratitude for the honor of being the one who he has trusted his heart to..and this man doesn’t just give his heart to anyone nor does he even reveal it all to anyone such as he has done with me. And because I see that, I let him know that I bow before him, in all my strength and with all my love.

Jim says

Amara, You are so on the spot here it’s almost scary. i stayed, raised a family, built a dream home, worked long and hard on a career path that makes a difference in the world…yet I had become unhinged because sex with my partner was not maturing…became unfulfilling…and eventually was just not happening. My seeking nature had me looking for some form…just about any form…of connection that might fill that missing piece in my life…sometimes with almost devastating results to the rest of my life. I even contemplated becoming a predator, but thankfully it seems this is just not in my nature. My spirit guides lead me to the Q teachings. I am not completely out of the woods yet, but the Q teachings have given me tools to work more constructively with this sexual energy within me, and also provided me knowledge to improve myself and my relationships.

Amara says

Hi Jim,
I too am happy we reconnected at the Quodoushka. Please forgive my long delay responding to your fabulous note, I’m really glad you wrote. I don’t know where you are now in the woods, but I hope you’re happy and well. You know, getting unhinged is really something. It’s happened to me a few times in my life, where everything collapsed. Actually, tho not pretty at the time, these have become major turning points in my life, where I’ve had to drop everything unimportant and see what really matters, It’s only love that matters. I just remember my BIG desires. The little desires, well they just come and go. Be with someone who supports and loves and is willing to go through anything with you no matter what. That’s what keeps me on this path. Many blessings on your way brother. Love, Amara

Azree says

Spotting us is quite a heart job, u need not to find the loudest guy in the room, yet her voice are “the loudest” when he speak, he like his time alone because there are so many thing need to plan perfectly and to recharge, the biggest sign is he never require validation, he validate himself unlike the beta who is the loudest in the coffee shop and in need of companions, he got his swagger, very passionate about his life.. And so many other sign that would be too long to wrote here. But be warned, we would drain normal women fast! We turn everything into competition, few can keep up, to be with us passion is required or an Alpha female.