March 17, 2011

Finding A Man With Heart

submitted by Amara Charles Back

It’s easy to get a precious treasure
But hard to find a man with a heart.

from  a Chinese Erotic Love Poem

The heart, the mind, the body. These are not separate things. Thus it is not possible to find a man without heart.But you will find many whose hearts are hidden.

The real ‘job’ of a woman (if we must have jobs) is to inspire men to feel their hearts.

When we resist sharing the beauty of our inherent feminine nature, no man will bother to feel his heart, for his heart lives in the bosom of feminine beauty.

To put it another way, if we hide our hearts, so will they.

So if you are wondering how to find a man with heart, offer yours. The surest way to inspire a man to feel his heart opening is to offer him your clothing, as you let it slip from your body. For you see, a man cannot help but feel his heart, and his reverence for you, when you offer yourself freely.

In beauty, Amara

Sex and Intimacy expert Amara Charles’ new book The Sexual Practices of Quodoushka is available for pre-order on Amazon. To find out about sexuality workshops for singles and couples please go to our workshop page.

??Amara Charles is a highly acclaimed sex and intimacy expert who has taught workshops internationally since 1989, helping men and women reconnect with their passion, reclaim their sexual energy and deepen their appreciation for life. Charles is the author of several books, including The Sexual Practices of Quodoushka. Published by Inner Traditions/Bear & CO., it will be available in wide release in August 2011. Charles has been a guest on BBC, ABC radio, and HBO and has spoken at numerous national and international conferences where she gives presentations and leads conversations about sex and intimacy for various groups, corporate clients and universities.

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Mead says

I heard from Nilah (David Swallow’s) wife that a woman’s job is to lead a man to spirit. For my personal experience, I feel that a man’s heart is yin and is more easily hurt than a woman’s. So heart to heart connection can be like getting hugged when you have a sunburn. Feels good to one, but not the other.

amara says

Ha! Hi Mead. I find interesting what you say. it’s true, many men sometimes have a hard time receiving pleasure, and men certainly have a lot of feelings! So while I know what you mean by sunburn, and it’s true, love can sting, I know so many men who need, love and desire hugs in the right moments. A Man’s heart is not ‘yin’ in the way you are using it- emotionally. This is likely a reference to the organs being yin or yang in orientation. Still, while I dont know if a man’s heart is more easily hurt, I do know they feel everything. but often have no way of expressing.


You are correct; an open heart in a woman is the invitation for the man to open. When a woman is brave enough to open her heart in the face of rejection – that is either the ultimate turn on for a man or the ultimate fear.

A man can man up and be the initiator of the open heart. If there is going to be deep intimacy both will need to open. Who will do it first….

Amara says

Well, in that case, I think there should be a race. Me first I say! :-), but if I lose, and cannot open my heart, ah, the man who will open his for me to follow…