Can You Burn Out From Too Much Bliss?
In a post a few days ago called Are You A Burnt Out Tantrika? I’ve had so many conversations I haven’t had time to write about what people have been saying to me. So I wondered whether you can get burnt out doing something you love?
More specifically, I ask in this post, how can a dakini (sexual practitioner ) become exhausted by doing what brings her bliss? I’d like to continue the conversation, because it touched deep places in women I’ve been talking to.
In case you don’t know, the words tantrika, or dakini (daka for males) is commonly being used these days to refer to a sexual practitioner, sex worker or sexual healer.
Amrita Wise (who joined the conversation in an earlier post) defines a Dakini as ” a Sanskrit word describing a Tantric female deity who is the embodiment of enlightened energy on the planet. In the Tibetan tradition the word for dakini is “khandroma” which means ‘she who traverses the sky’ or ‘she who moves in space’. She can also be known as a ‘sky dancer’ or ‘sky walker’.
The dakini, in all her varied forms, is an important figure in Tibetan Buddhism. She is so central to the requirements for a practitioner to attain full enlightenment as a Buddha, that she appears in a tantric formulation of the Buddhist Three Jewels refuge formula known as the Three Roots. Most commonly she appears as the protector, alongside a guru.” (To read the whole conversation, please go to the Tigress Den in Amara’s World)
Yesterday, I shared Amrita’s response that there could be no such thing as a “Burnt Out’ Tantrika or Dakini with a lovely woman, whom I shall call Linda. While we agreed that the ultimately, it’s true, a Dakini could not be ‘burnt out’, because she would simply experience this state as an aspect of her expanded consciousness. Yet Linda, like so many woman I know who are doing sexual healing work is exhausted. She reached a place where she needed an extended break to ask herself what she was doing and why she was doing what she does. Even though she looked quite radiant to me, (because I think we glow when we are reflecting deeply), Linda was on a sincere quest to discover why she was often seriously unhappy.
Linda and I talked about this together and asked how is it that doing something she loved to do, and felt supremely honored to be doing – namely offering sexual solace to many men – was causing her such personal distress. We laughed about this, because it was so clear to me that while Linda truly loves what she does, and I have no doubt she offers rare, precious gifts to men in her care, she was about to leave on another leg of her sojourn into the desert to reflect on what was ‘off ‘ and what needs to be reconsidered.
I would just like to say that I feel Linda’s type of sincere reflection is at the very root of all spiritual quests, and that I respect her journey regardless of the names she may use to call herself. Perhaps some are bandying about the words Dakini, Daka and Tantrika without knowing their true meanings, or origins, but we do not even have a word that comes close.
What should we call this ‘work’ (if it can be called work?) A Sacred Prostitute? The word prostrate means to lower one’s self, and prostitute has such horrible guilt laden connotations about sex it can not come close to the meaning of a dakini. Where does one go to learn these spiritual ways? Where are lineages that teach such things? It is such a big question, that’s all I have time for today, but will continue.
p.s. I would like to add that I hope this conversation inspires people interested in this subject to inquire further.
Thoughtful comments appreciated.
In beauty, Amara
Sex and Intimacy expert Amara Charles’ new book The Sexual Practices of Quodoushka is available for pre-order on Amazon. To find out about sexuality workshops for singles and couples please go to our workshop page.
March 25th is the Next Phoenix Touch for Two Couple’s Night