December 2, 2010

What Makes a Magnificent Sexual Experience?

submitted by Amara Charles Back

My question,  ‘What – for you – Makes a Magnificent Sexual Experience?‘ had several men taking time off work. Apparently, answering this better than work.

Think men have few things to say when it comes to sex and intimacy? Think again. Yes, women have sent us great answers too – but so far, the rhapsodic letters – yes pages – from men are coming in like tidal waves of passionate poetry. Who knew men were so eager to explode from their hearts in this way? Shyena and I were so inspired we made a fire, had a glass of wine and read some of the incredible answers…

“RAZ” (read by Shyena) says:


1. Explain 3 things- for you- that make a a magnificent sexual experience.

a) A perfect sexual encounter begins long before our eyes meet

, our bodies touch or our clothes are strewn across the floor. A critical ingredient to perfection is the antici……pation of the meeting and the unknown flow of the encounter once the meeting occurs.  While encounters rarely go as we imagined they would, wasn’t the thought of what might be so delicious. That means if I am going to meet my lover at the end of the day, I call her and talk to her several times during the day, slowly building her sexual tension to a juicy crescendo that culminates in that first sight of each other and that long, sloppy, greeting kiss as our bodies melt into each other, becoming one.

b) An ideal encounter continues on one of two forks, both equally wonderful:  one fork is the wet, wild, thrashing, wanton sex with not a moment to lose. Sex like this happens fast and hard; our groins grind into each other and our mouths devour each other sucking, pulling, stroking our most personal parts while our hands and fingers explore every fold and bend of our bodies (even though we may have seen them so often before) like meteorites explore the atmosphere in bright, thrusting bolts of pure energy before bursting upon the scene like a seering torchlight.   The other fork is slow, thoughtful, considered and tender but no less magnificent. Our lips lightly graze upon each other while our eyes convery their unmistakable message, “I want you”.  Nobody else and nowhere else exists except the two of us, right here right now.  And time is on our side. Time to savor a look; time to return a touch; time to synchronize our breath and our movement.  Time to explore a thought – turn it around, roll it over, reflect upon it and re-transmit it in a different form.  Time to express eternal, magical, total love for each other.

c) The third component of a magnificent encounter is that my lover responds to me in a myriad of ways. By sounds – a word, a sigh, a moan, a mew, an uttered audible positive reaction of any kind. By action – an arch of her spine, a twitch of her head or the corner of her mouth, a squeeze of her thighs around my body or the touch of her hand on my face. By thought – oh I can see those thoughts even though they are so ephemeral, thoughts conveyed by telepathy, by animal instinct, by primal subliminal feelings that cannot be identified except by sheer reaction. By response to my actions. By her initiated actions that I may myself respond to.  By being utterly engaged with me, giving and receiving with every sinew, every nerve fiber, every molecule, every brain cell. By not thinking of anything else – the pressure of work, the washing and cleaning of every day life, the children, the parents, that sore leg, that headache, that next meal.  by constantly growing with me, leading me sometimes, following me other times.  By all that she is and all that she will be.