Are you finding it difficult to communicate your heart’s desires with your lover? If your answer is “yes,” just know that you are not alone. Many people have trouble finding words for what they are feeling/wanting because they have been taught to suppress their sexual desires. Most of us are not taught that sex is something natural and good, but instead, we are taught it is shameful. “Even if we have managed to enjoy many positive experiences along the way, most of us have entered into adult relationships armed with almost no idea on how to deal with sexual challenges.” Amara Charles, The Sexual Practices of Quodoushka
Communication is key! It is what we all rely upon to be heard and understood. Communication is the foundation of all relationships and it’s not always easy to communicate our most intimate desires with our partners. It’s time to get over those fears and realize that communication is the gateway to intimacy and sexual fulfillment.
“Follow your heart” has long been a cliché that many of us use when decision-making seems difficult. Following your heart is like a default setting for how we operate our lives, yet many of us are so caught up in logic or fear that we have completely lost touch with our heart’s desire. Are you eager to feel more alive in your body than ever? Are you ready for large doses of intimacy, beautiful sex, and tenderness to come your way? If you answered “YES” to any of these questions you are already creating the intention for a sublime and healthy life.
At least half of what happens sexually is a result of what we think about. Our thoughts have energy that will manifest in our lives so it is important to stay positive and open about the possibilities of building passion and having a healthy and fulfilling sex life. Scientists call this positive disposition towards sex, Erotophilia. Before you ever touch, it’s what you say that creates an opening for sex or leads you off in another direction. One thing is sure – bemoaning the lack of opportunities or avoiding the subject does little to improve your sex life!
So, what can you do to get the passionate sex life you desire?
During the month of September, I will be discussing different aspects of sexual wellness and how it can improve your quality of life. Being that sexual wellness is such a broad topic, I think it’s best to start with discussing self-care, as it is an integral part of sexual wellness – allowing us to focus on ourselves and what our basic needs are, first.
What is self-care?
Self-care begins with self-love and centers on making your health and happiness a priority. To do that, you must first remember that you deserve as much attention as the ones you take care of around you. Identify what your needs are and nurture those areas of your life. Taking care of yourself will make you happier and better able to care for others.
Here are some ways you can incorporate self-care seamlessly into your daily life.
I have a friend who suddenly faces dramatic health challenges. She is a dear friend and colleague who is in need of money to help give her the time to heal. Her name is Mukee Okan. As a Quodoushka teacher, she has been teaching around the world for the past 30 years. With boundless passion, she has relentlessly devoted her life to lifting the shame and the shadow of sexual repression we hold in our bodies.
She is a leading pioneer of sexual freedom and has photographed and interviewed hundreds of people to document the Sexual Anatomy Teachings of Quodoushka. From this awesome endeavor, a project was birthed which I believe will define Mukee’s legacy. It is called The Pussy Talks.