As I’m about to venture off on a family trip to the Bahamas to celebrate my Mom’s Golden Birthday, I can’t shake the feeling that this is the trip that matters most. I’m so proud of her age, but even now she gets mad if I say how old she is, so let’s just say it’s really golden 🙂
Being an ecstatic traveler who’s often worlds away (even when I’m in the country), I know that there is an invisible, inescapable family tether that is tied to every action I take. Usually, I’m not thinking about those original knots that launched me into life, but they’re having their way all the same.
When I reflect on the love I feel, the love I’ve received, the love I’ve given, as well as the love I missed or withheld, my heart beats with the feeling I could have done more.
Something magical happened in Prague. As we presented the first Quodoushka in the Czech Republic, we felt in the people this hunger for the ceremony that brought our gathering to such a profound level of beauty, honoring respect, and love between the men and women.
It happened that we had very few men in the group, and after a gorgeous ceremony celebrating feminine beauty, there was no time to include the men. So the next day, one man expressed his deep disappointment with such honesty and heart, it changed the whole direction of the workshop.
I told this beautiful gentleman of a dream I had in the night where a man asked me to release a poison that was stuck in his head. As I pressed it out of his head it came out roaring like a rocket. So we decided in the moment to create an honoring ceremony where eight women shared the gifts she felt men bring to her, and then each man expressed what women bring to him. It was indescribably beautiful. We were all weeping in gratitude.
Here is one man’s way of sharing what happened for him:
I want to share in more detail how powerful the “Honoring Men” ceremony was for me. It is important for me to write this but I also hope that what I write sparks some magical memories of the time we shared at the Q in Prague, 2017.
What would happen if you allowed the men in your life to love every bit of you? Can you imagine having men who wish to provide whatever they can; able to take you into realms of pleasure that thrills you to the bone? Can you picture the kind of guy who’s turned on every time he makes just the right move at just the right time?
Here’s what I’ve noticed about certain men; when given the right kind of clues, they’re absolutely eager to delight us.
But why do men seldom succeed as much as they could? Why do they frequently fall short, leaving things unsaid and untouched? And why do they so often seem clueless, asking us what we want?
In my experience, training a man to catch our signals of desire is a matter of learning how to inspire him rather than asking for or demanding what we want. Yes, we can ask, and sometimes even demand that he steps up or slows down. But there are better ways to inspire men to love us the way we’d like to be loved.
First, keep in mind what inspires men most, especially during sex:
People who are well nourished and greatly inspired by their relationships live at the outer limits of intimacy. They not only dream of but deeply crave what is beyond easy grasp. They know deep fulfillment comes from extending and stretching the borders of what is already known. If you want the most from your relations you must realize it lives outside your comfort zones.
Deep love exists on the fringes of plain view. It thrives beyond what is already known and being done. A great relationship, and real intimacy requires a new approach. Anytime you don’t know what to do differently, your answer is to hunt for another approach.
Why I can’t stop offering sacred sexuality
I like inviting the soft burn of yearning love to come out from hiding. Even the most bruised and tender spirits, the ones who’ve just about given up, the ones who feel tired of losing, or who don’t even know they’re caged in pain; these are the ones I love lifting. Actually, it’s we who do the lifting. It happens every time.
I like when we become healers because it’s safe to shine. I like when we get to the place where sex is no longer about me and what I want, or what I can get. I like when our sexuality stays fragile, and private and clear. I love when there is no difference between my pleasure and your pleasure. I love the moments when giving is so thrilling, so sweet and so divine, nobody is left out.
Regular sex, the kind you have behind closed doors, is still my favorite kind of sex. Ah, but there’s something very different when we get together to explore our sacred sexuality. And it isn’t what you may think.